From time to time we find ourselves in a safe little nook feeling a bit stagnant. This usually displaying itself as boredom. We fantasize about traveling, meeting someone new, changing up our lives, even burning it all down. Depending on unconscious tenancies, and a little sprinkle of trauma, we could do a good bit of damage if we don't curiously tap in. I speak from experiencing this all too often. The urge to flip over all the stones, get to the reason, fix it, and feel that soothing satisfaction. Most of the time that is not the result we get. There will always be another question that arises, another piece of the puzzle that may not be in the box. We can stay on the safe corner, knowing the ins and outs of our daily lives, holding it, studying every edge and divot, feeling secure in knowing what to expect next. There is the other side of that, the side of hyper vigilance. It's a similar place, in that we strive to find comfort in the knowing, but it goes beyond this, putting ourselves in new situations that may not be right for us. Situations that leave us raw, out in the open. Exposed and unsteady, we watch every move around us, questioning our inner worlds and shedding self trust at every hiccup.
Opening and Contracting
When we move beyond the two extremes, we find ourselves in allowing. Allowing what is, what will be, and what was. A special place that comes and goes and brings the feeling that all is well. Within this stillness, we can find safety to really see what we need to do, where we want to position ourselves.
When meeting ourselves in a new way, we may see aspects that have been blind to us. The little bits of us that keep those pesky patterns going. Sometimes this is reflected and mirrored with others. We often hear ourselves and people around that we want to have authentic lives, with authentic people around us. Once it gets down to it, we could be thrown off by the realization that we too have to show up and be seen, and not just the cool easy going sides of us: all of it. The anger, the fear, the insatiable need for reassurance, the unrelenting nagging feeling that cant be distinguished between intuition and anxiety. This internal landscape we hold deep inside, gets some sunlight, confused by the rays, unsure if it can be held in love. That's the fear, and a fear that could be possibly actualized. If we find ourselves cracked open, and being witnessed with love, that is where the magic happens. real healing
Within all of this murky chaos, we are okay. We ride these waves that feel like they will consume us, filling our lungs with water. But we must remember, we are one with the ocean. We are created with the innate ability to surf, riding the waves until we are able to maneuver with joy, coming back for more salt
Much Love,
Gabrielle